This is the last post in my series about bullying. As someone who has worked with children and teens for years, this is a subject that I have been passionate about exposing and educating my readers about. I have learned a lot in my research for these posts and I hope you have learned from them. Today I tackle cyber bullying. This may be the newest form of bullying but I fear it is the most dangerous and most prevalent. Through my research on this specific topic, I have been made aware that some incidents that have been happening and I have been dealing with for a few weeks now, qualify as cyber bullying. I will share some of our story as we go along.

Cyber bullying is when a minor is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another minor using the Internet, digital technology or cell phone. Legally once adults are involved on either side-it is no longer cyber bullying. Cyber bullying takes many forms such as IMs and text messages, blogs and websites, pictures shared via camera phones, polls, sharing malicious code, stealing passwords and impersonation. Because cyber bullying doesn’t take place in person weaker and younger kids are involved. Most cyber bullies do not fit your typical bully profile.

Cyber bullying starts as early as 2nd grade and usually peaks in middle school. Statistics show that 58% of 4th-8th graders who have cell phones or Internet have been cyber bullyng victims. Also 53% of them have said or shared things that qualify them as being cyber bullies themselves. Kids who are texting and IMing at young ages seem to accept this behavior as normal, because “everyone is doing it”. Many have been on both sides of the offense at such an early age it has become almost acceptable. For teens the statistics are slightly lower 40% of all teens say they have been cyber bullying victims.

One of the most prevalent and seemingly innocent form of cyber bullying is polls. They come via text message, IM and e-mail; I have seen them, my son has had them forwarded to him. They say things like Do you think (insert name here) is fat or ugly or whatever? Then press 1 for yes and 2 for no and forward this to 10 of your friends. Eventually it gets back to the person that is being talked about and they are hurt by what has been said about them.

Sending and/or forwarding IMs, texts and e-mails that speak maliciously about another person is a form of cyber bullying. Writing mean, angy, untrue, gossipy blog posts is cyber bullying. Spreading lies about someone via any electronic medium is cyber bullying. This is where our incident has come to. It started a few weeks ago-I was actually made aware of it by another mom whose daughter wasn’t comfortable about what she had read about my son. (Yay for her!) The mom called me and I spoke to my son. In a nutshell a 6th grade girl has decided she can’t live without my 11th grade son about what was said. His response was-You know she is annoying, It will go away, and I’ll block her on my cell phone and IMs. Because he has refused to “acknowledge her love for him”, she is spreading vicious rumors about his character through the church youth group. The other day I get a call from our youth pastor’s wife informing me that another girl mentioned to her what was being said about my son, (Yay for her!) and wanted to make sure I knew. Ugh! The drama. I will now be contacting the girl’s mother to discuss the problem. Fun, fun.

Anyway, other form of cyber bulling are spreading compromising photos-often taken in school bathrooms and locker rooms with camera phones, forwarding malicious code and viruses, stealing passwords and trashing the victims web page/blog/social media profile and impersonating the victim. This makes the victim look like the perpetrator as they say/do mean things about yet another victim.

Preventing cyber bulling is a lot like preventing other bullying. Make sure you have open communication with your children. Occasionally check your child’s text messages, IMs and online profiles-my kids are not allowed on MySpace or Facebook. They are on FaithFreaks.com and so am I. I can and do monitor their IMs and chats. They know I am doing it for their protection and they also know that if they don’t allow me to monitor one of their accounts-they lose all Internet/texting privileges. Keep all family computers in open places so that you can see what they are doing at any given time. Teach your child to respect others so that they won’t want to hurt others. In extreme cases of cyber bullying you can lose your ISP and IM account if you are reported too many times-make sure your kids know this.

The National Crime Prevention Slogan for cyber bullying is “Delete Cyber Bullying-Don’t Write It-Don’t Forward It!” Teach your child that when/if they read or hear something that was written about them instead of attacking back-take 5, breathe deep and walk away. Don’t attack back. If your child see’s a friend being attacked remind them that remaining silent when others are being hurt is not acceptable. Tell an adult.

The keys to stopping cyber bullying are BRR.

• Block people who send/forward mean messages
• Refuse to forward messages (bad things won’t happen if you don’t send it to 10 people in the next 5 minutes)
• Report people who cyber bully to adults/teachers etc

Parents, please educate your kids and monitor their online and text messaging behavior. It is not a violation of their freedom, it is your responsibility as a parent to raise respectable kids.

When I was contacted a while back to review a pair of plus size designer jeans, I jumped at the chance. I am very hard to fit when it comes to jeans. I told the PR rep that from the start. I explained that I am a size 20/22 and I have a smaller waist so I always get a large gap in the back if there is no elastic in the waistband. She assured me JAG jeans would fit me and I said “Bring ‘em on.”

JAG jeans cater to all shapes and sizes of women and they retail for under $100 a pair. JAG has been in business for over 30 years and their goal is that their jeans will fit, flatter and make a woman feel good. JAG jeans are made of a denim that is 98% cotton and 2% spandex which allows for comfort and stretch.

When the jeans arrived I decided you had to see the jeans on me to prove if they fit or not. So I borrowed a Flip Video camera from a relative, I really need to get one of these, and had my son record my first Vlog entry.

The jeans I have are the “Madison” size 20. They are double indigo in color and have 5 pockets. The back pockets are J stitched. The jeans are very comfortable and I will enjoy wearing them, once I get them hemmed. At Jag Jeans website I was able to search for local stores carrying the jeans. I searched the web and found them at Nordstrom.com and Zappos.com and ranging in price from $79-$89 a pair.

I have been a Veggie Tales fan since they debuted in 1993, which happens to be the year my oldest son was born. My boys have grown up on Bob, Larry, Junior, and all the other Veggies. Everything that Phil Vischer, Mike Nawrocki and the rest of the team touch is wonderful. Today I learned about Phil Vischer’s latest project, not a Big Idea or Veggie Tales project, but this is from his own creative workshop-Jellyfish Labs. This project is an innovative, interactive multimedia experience for kids. It is an online children’s network which reaches beyond the traditions of television and DVD entertainment, offering 24-hour access to high-quality Christian programming to children ages 5-11. This media experience is Jelly Telly. “Through JellyTelly, we can bring the Bible to life for kids on a daily basis. Our mission is to help raise the next generation of Christian kids so they know what they believe and why they believe it,” says Vischer.


I spent a lot of time this afternoon checking out the site, watching the adorable videos and playing some of the games. I am very impressed by the video quality-they are using Ooyala to stream their videos. The site’s shows consist of a mix of puppets, animation and live action and everything on the site is faith-based. Right now the site is free and they are trying to decide the best way to support this site financially. During it’s beta period there was a modest $2.99 a month subscription fee. That fee is very low considering you get new programming available daily! I would willingly pay 10 cents a day for my child to have access to this kind of positive online experience.

Children’s Pastors: Jelly Telly has a sister site Jellybits, where for $4.99 each you can purchase Jelly Telly shows to use in your children’s church services. Please support this awesome Christian service and visit JellyTelly with your child today.
Here is one of their videos that they have released on YouTube.

I have always loved to play games. Board games, card games, video games-I love them all. Whenever we get together with extended family we play games. On my side of the family the current favorites are Golf (card game), Sequence, 500 Rummy and Yahtzee Free for All(which we call ‘Mean Yahtzee’). We are so competitive there is now a “Current Champions” list that hangs in my mom’s kitchen and shows who won the latest round of each game. On my husband’s side of the family the games are Mexican Train Dominoes and UNO Attack!®.

Playing games are great for bonding, memory making and just plain fun. For the last few years I have hosted Game Night at our church. One Friday night a month people ages 16 and up bring their favorite game and a snack or soda to share and we fellowship, learn new games and make new friends. We have learned a lot of great games at game night including Golf and Farkel

This school year we have added Thursday night family night to our schedule and most family nights are game nights-with the occasional movie night sprinkled in. We take turns and each week a different family member gets to pick the games we play that night. We have had a lot of fun taking time out every week to play together.

This Friday night on Twitter there is going to be a sitewarming party with great prizes. We will be introducing the new Family Game Night feature at timetoplaymag.com. RSVP to the party by clicking the sitewarming link above. I will see you there!

Have you ever spent hours searching the web for information on a specific item? Maybe you need to purchase a new stroller and you have no idea which one you should get. You would call your girlfriend but her kids haven’t used a stroller in years so who do you turn to? Instead of wasting your valuable time searching all over for ideas and opinions there is just one place to go. That place is Mom Faves.

Mom Faves is a new FREE website filled with recommendations from moms and for moms. It takes just a few minutes to register on Mom Faves and then you can search activities, causes, deals, entertainment, events, experiences, products, and much more. You can see how many moms have faved a particular item and read why the nominating mom placed that item on the site. You can even search by zip code so if you need a performer for your child’s birthday party in Boston, MA you can search for it and see who has been recommended.

As a Mom Faves member you can also fave items already in the database and if an item isn’t listed then you can add it. Mom Faves wrapped up it’s launch last week and I am sure there is a lot more of great things in store for this new site. You can even fave Mom Maven or the Mom Maven blog! So come on over to Mom Faves and let your voice be heard.

Congratulations to Penney from http://homeschoolblogger.com/penneyfromheaven ! She won the Tanner Bananer Totebag giveaway!

I have a lot of giveaways lined up for March so keep checking in to Mom Maven for all sorts of new things in the very near future.

As a busy wife and homeschooling mom of 2 teenage boys, finding time for myself isn’t always easy. My goal is 30 minutes a day to do what I want for me. That might mean reading a book, playing a video game or taking a bubble bath. The activity doesn’t matter as long as it is for me to relax. I have been getting some great me time ideas from fun website appropriately named Me Time.

Me Time has great blogs and ideas for helping busy women relax and recharge. Me Time also has adorable and very comfortable t-shirts. Mine says “When mom is happy, everyone’s happy”. Here is a picture of me from last Friday when I had some me time at Prime Outlets Ellenton, FL.
Yesterday I had a great me time day. My mother-in-law took the boys to Bush Gardens and I spent the day with my mom. I got to relax and get my hair done an then we went out to dinner. It was a wonderful way to recharge my batteries.

If you want more information on Me Time you can click the link above or the blog badge here or on my sidebar.

The phone rings, you answer it, and on the other end is your child’s school principal. She requests that you come to the school immediately, there’s been an incident involving your son Timmy. He has been bullying a student on the playground. You agree to come right down. You grab your keys and purse and head to the car. As you drive to the school thoughts start swirling, “Did she say Timmy was bullying? No, she must have said he was bullied. My Timmy is a good kid. He wouldn’t bully anyone…would he?” You arrive at the school, a knot in your stomach, unprepared for what is to come. How do you respond to the principal, the victim, his parents, your son?

That is the pivotal question-How do you respond? For most of us instinct kicks in and we want to start the “Not my kid-your kid must have provoked him.” defense. That is definitely not what should happen. Before you enter the school-take some deep breaths and remember that what is important here is helping your child not keeping your mommy reputation intact. Some basic tips on what to do during this meeting are:

• Don’t immediately go on the defensive
• Listen carefully to what is said about the incident by the principal, the victim and your child. Restate what you have heard to make sure you understand the details.
• Calmly discuss the situation with all involved.
• Ask the principal what the school policy requires the punishment/reaction to be (most schools have a zero tolerance bullying policy in place-sometimes even just one incidence of bullying can lead to suspension).
• Assure the principal that you take bullying very seriously and that you will deal with it at home and be in contact with the principal.

As the two of you head to your car, keep breathing deeply. This is when it gets very hard you want to either cry or lash out at your child but this is not the time or place. It is often best to be silent in the car and let the child process what he has just witnessed in the school office. Assuming your child is guilty and has confessed to the bullying there are action steps that need to take place.

• Discuss/explain that bullying is not acceptable behavior.
• There must be an apology and restitution should be made. If something was ripped or broken during the incident it must be replaced-at the child’s expense. Otherwise the child should be required to do something for the victim. You may need to work with the victim’s parents on this one.
• Show respect to the school officials and accept whatever punishment is handed down from the school. One major lesson that bullies need to learn is respect of others and their property. You need to model that behavior by respecting the school and its leaders.
• Specify concrete consequences for bullying. Be firm and consistent in your discipline. Follow through with whatever punishment you hand down.

Now that the immediate response is over, take a break. Let your child go to their room and you do something relaxing so you can both get your perspective back on the big picture. I will not blame all bullying on how a parent does there job as a parent but…if a child bullies-there are some major character flaws that need to be fixed. Our children need to be taught empathy, respect and compassion. We need to model these traits in our daily lives and we need to reward good behavior-especially in areas our child is lacking-but growing in.

We also need to examine the atmosphere in our home. Are negative speech and put-downs allowed? Is there a lot of violence on the television and video games that our children view? Do we value each person in our family or are some seen as “less important” than others? The social atmosphere in our home, school, church and civic groups help to form who our child becomes and how they behave in social situations. As parents, on of our jobs is to train our children so that they know how to behave and react when they are with other people. This training is the parent’s responsibility not the school’s or even the church’s.

• Teach and model acceptable ways to reduce stress, frustration and anger.
• Be involved in your child’s school and other activities.
• Decrease the violence at home
• Teach and model taking responsibility for your actions
• Teach empathy, respect and compassion-teach your child to prefer others over themselves

None of us want our child labeled as a bully. If you see signs that your child has some of the common character/behavior traits of a bully work with your child to make changes so that it never reaches the point where you get that call to the principal’s office.

Last month I wrote a review and held a giveaway for some of Dannah Gresh’s Secret Keeper Girl products. If you didn’t see that post you can check it out here. Today I got an e-mail from PureFreedom.org, Dannah’s website, and they are holding their own giveaway of SKG products. What is really cool is you get to pick the prize! If you didn’t win the Secret Keeper Girl 8 Great Dates for You and Your Daughter from the Mom Maven now you can try to win it from Dannah. She is choosing 10 winners for this great contest so check out the SKG blog and enter today. Good Luck!

When my boys were probably 3 and 5, instead of giving them traditional Easter baskets full of goodies, I decorated a small tote bag for each of them and filled that with their Easter treats. They used those bags for a few years to carry their children’s Bibles, Sunday School papers and all the candy they won in Kid’s Blast back and forth to church. It was a wonderful way to keep their stuff organized and to re-use their “Easter basket.”

This year you can get your child their own cool Easter oilcloth tote bag. Tanner Bananer is an awesome mom-owned company in South Carolina. Sabrina Vegis founded Tanner Bananer, named after her daughter Tanner, in May of 2003. As a mother of two, Sabrina saw a need for adult and children’s products that were eye-catching and easy to clean! Tanner Bananer’s beautiful and robust Mexican oilcloth (which is actually printed vinyl) is just that! “The little ones love the bright colors and parents love the ease of care.” said Vegis. “Chocolate smears and smashed jelly beans just wipe away with a damp cloth.

According to Vegiss, “Tanner Bananer oilcloth products come in cheery spring colors so they are ideal for Easter displays or the yearly egg hunt.” Her product line includes five different styles of totes, three styles of marketbags, adult and children’s aprons, bibs, changing pads, splat mats as well as porch and patio pillows. For an additional $10 you can have your purchase personalized. All Tanner Bananer products are sewn in the South Carolina Lowcountry and are sold in the open-air historic market in downtown Charleston every Friday and Saturday.

You can purchase any of the Tanner Bananer products by clicking the link or you can win the adorable Lavender in Mini Gingham tote which is embroidered with Jesus Loves Me! pictured above. This tote measures 9 1/2″w x 10″h x4″w and retails for $26.

How to Enter:
For your first entry you must visit the Tanner Bananer website and choose your favorite product & pattern from their line of great products. Then come back here and leave that information in your comment. You must also follow or subscribe to this blog and leave a comment here telling me that you have done this Please leave a valid e-mail address or twitter name so that I can notify if you win. **You must do all of this to be entered.

If you would like extra entries you can earn them for doing any or all of the following:

• tweet this contest and post the url of the tweet as a separate comment (you can do this 1x per day each day of the contest-just post each tweet url in a separate comment)
• blog about this contest and link to this post (not just a link to the contest) then leave me a link to your post in a separate comment
• stumble this post with a review and link it here in separate comment

The winner will be chosen on Saturday February 21st at 10:00pm. Good Luck!!