Planning Your Wedding Ceremony

The wedding ceremony is the most important part of your wedding day. This is the legal and spiritual portion of your day. While the ceremony usually costs much less than the reception, its planning should be well thought out.

There are many different types of wedding ceremonies, based mostly on religious and cultural traditions. For the purpose of this post I will focus on what I know, a Christian wedding ceremony. Christian wedding ceremonies vary in length and contents depending on the desires of the couple I will outline the basic parts.

It is important for the couple to have an idea of what they want and don’t want in their wedding BEFORE they meet with the pastor who will be officiating the service. Wedding vows and music choices are very personal and it is helpful to know what you want so that you have the ceremony of your dreams and not the cookie cutter ceremony some churches are known for.

Planning Your Wedding Ceremony

Pre-service Music Usually instrumental, this music should start 20 minutes before the service begins. This lets the guests feel welcomed and sets the tome for the ceremony.

Prelude Starts at the time posted on the invitation. This is the music that the grandparents and parents of the bride and groom enter to. This should be a meaningful song, usually instrumental that can be edited to fit the time needed for these family members to come down the aisle.

Processional This music has a more regal feel to it. This is when the wedding party enters.

Bride’s Entrance Often played here is Wagner’s “Bridal Chorus” or Pachelbel’s “Canon in D”. Whatever is played at this time, when the music starts the mother of the bride stands and looks down the aisle, and this signals the rest of the guests to do the same thing. The bride traditionally walks down the aisle with her father.

Greeting & Seating The Pastor greets the congregation and thanks them for attending. Then he tells them that they may be seated.

Call to Worship This is the traditional “Dearly beloved…” or whatever the couple and pastor decide upon. Often times there is also a Scripture reading by a member of the bridal party or a family member.

Prayer The Pastor prays for the ceremony and the couple.

Giving of the Bride The Pastor will ask, “Who gives this woman to be wed to this man?” or something like that and one or both of the bride’s parents respond, usually with “We do” or the father may say, “Her mother and I do”. At this time the father kisses his daughter and joins her hand with the groom’s hand before being seated.

Questions of Intent This is the “I Do’s” NOT your vows. This is where you state that you have come of your own free will to marry one another. After the questions the couple often moves up onto the dais or closer to the wedding altar depending on how the ceremony space is designed.

Sermon The Pastor shares a short 10-15 minute sermon about the importance of marriage.

Congregational Singing IF you choose to have a congregational song sung this is a good place to do it. the bride and groom should sing too.

Vows The Pastor usually asks for the couple to face each other and hold hands. The bride should hand her bouquet to her Maid of Honor. Here is where you make your promises to love, honor and serve your spouse to death til you part. You can use traditional vows, write your own or surf the Internet and find ones that you, as a couple like. I highly suggest running all vows by your pastor so that he can make sure they are appropriate.

Rings Often the pastor will share about 5 minutes on the significance of the wedding ring and why we exchange them.

Declaration of Marriage The “legal” part of the ceremony is now over. The pastor pronounces you husband and wife.

The Kiss This “seals the deal”. The wedding kiss should not be too long or too sexy.

Special Elements (Special Music/Unity Candle/Communion etc) Most modern weddings include some special element. My son’s wedding will include the sand ceremony and communion while a friend sings a special song. These elements are both spiritual and symbolic and many couples choose to receive communion together as their first act as man and wife.

Benediction The Pastor prays a blessing over the couple and over the witnesses.

Announcement (The bride retrieves her bouquet) The Pastor introduces you as Mr & Mrs _______

Recessional Upbeat music to which the bride & groom followed by the wedding party exit the ceremony.

Directions Once the bridal party has exited the ceremony, the Pastor gives any instructions about dismissal, receiving lines and the reception.

I have bee a part of wedding ceremonies that were as short as 10 minutes and as long as 2 hours. In my opinion 45-60 minutes is optimal.

Did you have any special element in your wedding ceremony? I’d love to know what you did to make your ceremony unique.