“Guide to Pirate Parenting” is written by award winning humor columnist Tim Bette, and his friend Captain William MacDougall a.k.a Cap’n Billy. The book takes a tongue-in-cheek look at raising children today and was recently awarded the 2009 Adding Wisdom Award in the Humor Book category by Parent to Parent. We have had a lot of fun with this book, of course we are kind of “piratey” around here anyway. We live in a Florida near pirate Jose Gaspar’s stomping grounds, our town is the spring training home to the Pittsburgh Pirates, our NFL team is the Buccanneers, we have ridden Pirates of the Caribbean at Disney World at least 60 times and last year we had a pirate themed murder-mystery birthday party for my 15 year old son!

Part 1 of the book is the introduction-How I met Cap’n Billy and Why You Should Raise Your Children to Be Pirates.

Part 2 is the guide to Pirate Parenting which is broken down into seven chapters.

• Baby Pirates-Mapping Out Your Child’s Future
• Belly Timber-Feeding Your Pirate
• Sleeping Like a Seadog and Other Nocturnal Issues
• Quelling Mutinies-Disciplining Your Pirate
• Scurvy and Hook Injuries-Pirate Health and Safety
• Your Pirate’s First Ship- How to Convert Your Minivan into a Pirate Schooner
• As Your Pirate Gets Older-The Teen Years and Beyond

(I haven’t let my boys read the chapter on converting your minivan into a pirate schooner. Though this would make an awesome homeschooling project, I need to keep the minivan intact for a while longer)

Though this is a humor book there is some parenting booty to be pillaged from these pages. ” Cap’n Billy’s tips for disciplining your pirate. Discipline isn’t punishment. Remember, there’s a difference between discipline and punishment. The role of discipline is to teach your pirate the appropriate way to act. The role of punishment is to get prisoners to tell you where their booty is hidden.”

Throughout this treasure trove of parenting advice are pirate nursery rhymes that relate to the topic of the chapter. Here is one about sailing the high seas:

Old Cap’n Rackham (Little Miss Muffet)

Old Cap’n Rackham left port for Siam, sailing the ocean blue.                                                                                                                                        Along came a maelstrom, On an Isle shipwrecked him, And cannibals ate pirate stew.

“Guide to Pirate Parenting: Why you should raise your kids as Pirates and 101 Tips on How to Do It” is a fun read and would make a great gift for the parent-to-be or for Father’s Day. You can purchase the book at http://pirateparenting.com/

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Parents, your primary job is to listen. If at all possible, record your child telling his account the first time he tells it to you. I have a friend who does guardian ad-litem work and she has told me that in many states a child is only allowed to tell their story 3 times. After the third time the legal system feels a child’s story could be embellished by input received from parents, teachers etc. Even if you don’t think this will become a legal matter it is in your child’s best interest to record their story-especially if there has been physical harm. Listen to your child’s complete story and gather the facts. Try not to interrupt them while they are sharing and take what they are telling you seriously. If the incident took place on school grounds you need to notify the principal and if it happened on the way to or from school the bully’s parents need to be informed. Most schools have a zero bullying policy and that policy outlines the steps that are taken to resolve the problem.

Once a child has been bullied, he often doesn’t want to return to the place where it happened. Here are some tips to teach your child so he knows what to do to lessen the chances of being bullied.

• Tell an adult you trust. A parent, teacher, coach etc. If you’re afraid to talk to an adult-take a friend with you.
• Stay in a group. Bullies don’t usually attack a group of people. Never walk to or from school alone. Play with others on the playground. Don’t be alone.
• If a bully confronts you-walk away and act confident. Even if you are feeling scared walk tall with your head up. Bullies are less likely to bother confident kids.
• Hold your anger. No matter what the bully says or does, hold your anger.
• Don’t get physical. Avoid fighting at all costs.
• Avoid places where bullying happens-an out of the way corner of the playground, an empty lot, a stairwell.
• If you ride the school bus-sit near the driver.
• Make sure you’re not alone in the school bathroom or locker room.

Unfortunately, no matter how your child responds, they may still be a victim of bullying. Be there for your child, this isn’t the kind of thing they get over right away. They need your love and assurance as they deal with what they have been through. Make sure you are active in the school and keep tabs on what steps are being taken to assure the safety of your child and every child in that school. Dealing with bullying is one of the hard situations many parents have to deal with. Remember that healing your child’s emotions begins when you truly listen to and support your child.

There are two more installments in this series on bullies: What to Do if Your Child is a Bully and Cyberbullying.

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