Dr. Selznick calls these kids “Lego kids” because of their amazing spacial abilities. That describes Jordan, even at age 14 he loves to spend hours creating interesting things with his Legos and other building toys. Dr. Selznick suggests that there are 2 styles of Shut-Down Learners, I realized I have worked with both types. One of my homeschool co-op students is definitely a Style 1-disconnected, unmotivated and difficult, while Jordan is a Style 2-Pleasant and Terribly Insecure.

“The Shut-Down Learner” gives suggestions to parents and educators on how to help these students see their strengths and work on improving their weaknesses. I am incorporating some of the suggestions into this fall’s homeschool day.

Here are a few samples of De. Selznick’s advice:

1. Identify the “cracks in the foundation” as early as possible. Find a professional who knows the “red flags” to identify for early learning problems. So much heart-ache can be avoided if you address the skills weaknesses early.

2. If the cracks are widening, seek outside help if possible. Don’t be passive and wait for the schools to intervene. They may, but it’s often a long process. Many of the children I see are not bad enough to warrant the school’s intervention. It’s a negative snowballing effect. Use word of mouth in your community to find people who can intervene

3. Know the kind of reading problem you’re targeting.  There are essentially two types. In the first type the child has trouble decoding the words and reading fluently. This type is the largest majority of the struggling kids. In the second type, the child can read fluently, but has great trouble understanding what he/she has read. Get clear on what you are targeting!!!! Don’t scattershot your remediation.

4. Take the heat out of the interaction. For most of the struggling kids, the daily ritual of yelling about school is a constant. Households are tense. Lots of blame goes around. Pecking at your child, nagging and yelling are not working. Why continue?

5. Find the child’s true strength and help kid embrace it. The shut down learners that I know do not feel very good about themselves and they do not see their strengths. Most of these kids are very solid in the visual spatial dimension of ability. This is often not valued in school. The kids need to learn to value this trait and see it as a potential.

6. Find someone to connect and mentor your child in school. If your child is older, push the kid to have one adult in the building as child’s mentor. It should be someone that your kid can form a relationship with. Too often shut-down learners go through school not bonded to anyone. This is tragic.

7. Keep your humor. Try not to let school problems become all consuming. Go out for an ice cream sundae with your kid even if he hasn’t done his homework! School problems can be so all consuming – don’t lose touch with your kid’s good qualities.

Fortunately, the value of The Shut-Down Learner doesn’t end with advice. Dr. Selznick shows you how to apply this advice. With great sensitivity, he writes about several of the shut-down learners he has known. He shares their conversations and insights and shows how they didn’t let their learning problems and the rigidity of schools destroy their lives.

If you think your child may be a Shut-Down Learner I suggest you get the book and visit the website www.shutdownlearner.com, and get involved in helping your child succeed.

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Now that you have figured out what time your child should be going to sleep, work backwards from there to allow 30-60 minutes for the bedtime routine. The bedtime routine is important because it gives the child the cues he needs to settle himself down and prepare for sleep. A sample bedtime routine includes 1 or both parent participating in…
• bath time
• brush teeth
• go potty
• story time
• prayers
• lights out (parent leaves the room)
• [tweak the above so that it fits your family and is age appropriate]

The next part is where it gets difficult for most parents. Except in cases of infants who wake for nighttime feedings, illness and night terrors, the child is in bed for the night. They shouldn’t get up for a drink, another hug, “I can’t sleep” etc. This is where most parents fail the bedtime routine-and if they would just stick with it a week or two their life would be so much more blissful. If the child comes out of their room (this is not a time for conversation keep it simple)…

• 1st time-give them a hug an “I love you.” and walk them back to bed
• 2nd time-give them a hug and walk them back to bed (no talking)
• 3rd time-walk them back to bed (no hug, no talking)
• Depending on their age when you begin this routine, they may really push you the first few nights. I know of parents who have sat in the doorway of their child’s room (without talking with the child) so that the child will stay in bed, even if they cry and whimper for a while, they can and will eventually self-pacify and learn that the sooner they relax and go to sleep the better it is.

Consistency is the key to all parenting. In bedtime you need to be consistent in the bedtime and the bedtime routine. Kids of all ages need bedtimes that allow them to get the sleep their body needs. Purchase cool kids beds for your children so that they’ll love their bedroom.

What does your child’s bedtime routine consist of? Leave me a comment and let me know.

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