This has been a tough week. My normally calm and relatively easy job has been chaotic and stressful and a few other thinks have been out of balance. It isn’t the end of the world, I know, but on 3 days this week I felt like I was barely treading water-unable to keep my head up.
In the midst of this, on Tuesday I re-started the Couch to 5K (c25k) running program. I am not an athlete, far from it. I am an obese 47 year old who wants to prove to herself-and anyone watching-that by the time I hit 50 I will be the healthiest I’ve been in 25 years. I say I re-started c25k because a year and a half ago i originally started it with a goal fo completing the Halloween 5k at Walt Disney World with a bunch of my friends in October 2010. The diagnosis of anemia and doctor’s orders not to exert myself ended that plan after just a few weeks of training. I am still anemic but my numbers have been more consistent and I have been given the go ahead to start training but with caution that I must listen to my body and rest as needed. My current goal is to complete the Royal Family 5k at Walt Disney World in February.
Tuesday’s training went well. I realized that my pace has improved in the last year and a half because I went further than I had last time I started the program. I didn’t know exactly how far I had gone-I walk/jog around our neighborhood and the C25k told me I was 1/2 way through my 30 minute workout when I thought I should be about 3/4 of the way through so I took another lap! I felt good after the workout, though I crashed later in the afternoon and requires a nap. Wednesday was my crazy 12 hour work day and I don’t plan to train on Wednesday’s because my body barely lasts through the day normally. Thursday I had planned on training but woke up with a migraine that lasted about half the day. Then I went into work and had dinner at the in-laws. When I arrived home I received an email that really upset me-more than I thought it would. I found out that I was not moving on to the final round of the Disney Moms Panel application process. I had really felt relaxed and confident about my chances this year, but I was wrong. Last night-on top of everything else swirling around my life this email was the straw that broke the camels back. I hopped on Twitter and Facebook and had a pity party with other friends who weren’t selected to move forward. I literally sat at my computer and wept for about a half hour before heading to bed at 12:30am!
This morning I got up and as I was tying my sneakers my husband came out of the bedroom and said, “You better stay close to home, there’s rain coming but it should be a light sprinkle.” I said ok and headed out. I always start my walk/run with prayer it is some alone time with God and this morning I told Him in part, “Yesterday is behind me-please forgive me for being so selfish last night. You have blessed me beyond measure and I have so much to be thankful for. Today is a new day and your mercies are new every morning. Thank you Jesus for forgiving me and cleansing me from all unrighteousness.” Then I popped in my earbuds and got to work.
My current workout playlist consists of Desert Song by Hillsong United, Happy Day by Jesus Culture from Your Love Never Fails (CD/DVD), No Sweeter Name by Kari Jobe, Freedom by Eddie James and How He Loves by Jesus Culture from We Cry Out (CD/DVD).
As I went through my paces and sang these worship songs it started to sprinkle-no big deal. When I hit half way it started raining a bit harder. Freedom came on my iPod and as I turned the corner for the last long stretch home the rain was now coming straight down into my face. I was jogging to the west and the rain was coming from the west. The song hit the bridge “No more shackles, no more chains, no more bondage, I am free!” I was singing and laughing and praising God in the rain when out of the corner of my eye I see my husband pull up and roll down his window-I waved him on home-I had come this far I wasn’t quitting now. Then as How He Loves started playing I was overwhelmed not only by the love my Abba Daddy has for me-which is amazing but by the love my husband has for me. To trek out in the pouring rain to make sure I was ok and to give me the freedom to continue on my way to push through towards my goal, was just overwhelming. I jogged, I cried, I was soaked through and I had to take my glasses off because I couldn’t see out of them but I made it home.
I was greeted at the door by my 18yo son holding a large towel (his way of saying “I love you mom”). I bawled during my shower (and while writing this post) as I reflected on my many, many blessings. Does it sting that I’m not moving forward with the Disney Moms Panel? Yes. Was it a crazy week at work and at home? yes. Is my God, the Creator of the Universe, still in charge and is He still taking care of me and making sure I have what I need even if it may be something I don’t necessarily be what I want…like HEALING RAIN? Yes!!
Soak in the Healing Rain!